Translations

He is not the waiter in question, but close!

When I was about 18, I went to an Italian restaurant in Marseilles with some cousins and we engaged in a heated discussion as to the pros and cons of chemicals in food. We evidently disagreed about something, although I don’t remember what or whether I was for or against chemicals in food. We had also been drinking bad wine (we were young and penniless). In any case, I stopped the waiter as he swung by and asked him:  “Are there any preservatives in my pasta?”.  However, I said it in French: “Est-ce qu’il y des préservatifs dans mes pâtes?” Translated, I asked: Are there any condoms in my pasta?

The waiter looked at me for a long second and said, as no one but a French waiter could say: “Je vous assure, monsieur, il n’y a aucun préservatif dans vos pâtes”.  [Let me assure you, sir, that there are no condoms in your pasta.] I continued eating, reassured, albeit the laughing stock of my cousins to this day.